Tag: Friends

Dating Diaries

Dating Diaries: Mr. Sensitive Guy

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So I recently went out with a guy (twice), that I’ll call Tom that I met off Tinder.

Tom + I met at Trophy Tap + Table in Downtown Raleigh.  When I arrived he was already sitting at the bar.  The conversation was great and we had some laughs.  Towards the end of dinner he tells me he has something to tell me.  I’m thinking to myself, “oh great, I can’t wait to see what confession he has for me.” He proceeds to tell me that he’s not 38 per his info on Tinder, he’s 42.  Am I happy that he lied about his age? No. I try to brush it off.  We then decide to head to Fox Liquor Bar for a drink.  He then tells me has something else to tell me.  Bless America! What else is he going to confess to me about?!

He tells me he walks with a limp.

Ummm… ok.  I’m thinking to myself, ok no big deal and don’t be superficial about it.  I mean there was some chemistry there and I figured I’d give the guy a chance. As we started to walk out of the bar it was a very obvious limp. The only way I can explain it which is going to sound mean (which is not my intent) is that it was like on the episode of Friends where Phoebe goes running with Rachel (but picture walking like that).  See? I knew you’d thought it would sound mean, but that’s the only way to give you a visual.

We get to the bar and he wants to sit in the dark corner. Of course this isn’t going to end well.  Thirty minutes in the bar and we’re making out like we’re two teenagers. Side note: I’m not going to be able to show my face in that bar for quite some time.

When we parted ways we decided to make plans to hang out again.  I figured I would give him another chance to redeem himself for lying to me about his age.

Date rating: 8/10

 

 

 

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A Little Time On My Hands

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It’s a full-time job looking for a job.  When you’re unemployed, there’s only so many times you can go on LinkedIn, Indeed, etc and see the same jobs you’ve applied for.  With that being said- YES, I am job hunting, networking, etc., but I’m also enjoying my “spring break” or “staycation” as one might call it. What have I been doing since the beginning of April other than job hunting? I’ll tell you…

  1. 13 Reasons Why.  I have no shame in admitting I binge-watched 13 Reasons Why on Netflix in 2 days. Originally I had intentions of watching the newest season of Grace and Frankie, but I was intrigued when 13 Reasons Why popped up on the main screen. I was hooked. P.S. I still need to watch Grace and Frankie.
  2. Visiting friends.  By no means am I traveling to Georgia, Florida or Dallas to visit friends. I’m keeping it local since I’ve got a mortgage I gotta pay.  Since I have all this time on my hands I’m spending it with my friends as well as ones from high school I haven’t seen in ages, family friends and old co-workers.  I feel like I’m on tour, but only visiting 1-2 cities.
  3. Wine tasting. And by wine tasting I mean drinking wine with friends. I’ve also become OBSESSED with creating a homemade cheese board.  You can’t go wrong with a double bottle of Barefoot Pinot Grigio and some nice cheese, especially when it’s all on sale.  Some of my favorite cheeses include goat cheese, havarti and port salut. Pro tip: drizzle a little honey on the cheese… it’s PHENOMENAL.
  4. Reading.  I finally finished Andy Cohen’s second book, The Andy Cohen Diaries and I’m currently reading The Sister by Louise Jensen.  I also have three more books lined up after that: You’ll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein, Lilac Girls by Martha Hall Kelly and The Woman in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware.  Looks like I just might make my Goodreads goal of reading 25 books this year.
  5. Trial + Error. I got hooked on a new show, Trial + Error with the hilarious John Lithgow + Sherri Shepherd.  I’m not going to lie I thought I wouldn’t be able to see past John Lithgow’s super creepy appearance from Dexter, but I did.  The writing is impeccable and the casting for the show is superb.  I’m going to need NBC to renew this hilarious show for another season.
  6. Crafts. I decided to pick up an old pastime of mine, cross stitching.  It’s a hobby I used to dabble in, but then life got in the way.  I’m also going to take a class with Craft Habit Raleigh and try my hand at embroidery.  Stay tuned for the outcome on that.
  7. Spring cleaning. The great spring purge of 2017 is underway! While I’ve donated some of my things I’ve also sold some items on Poshmark and those Buy/Sell groups on Facebook. The good news is I didn’t end up on Dateline after that transaction.  So I guess you could say I’m making an income… it’s only enough to feed my need to go to Dos Taquitos or purchase Pinto Grigio.

So that’s basically what I’ve been doing since the beginning of April.  Oh, and I’ve been going to the gym, but I’m not going to brag about that.  I just want to be a stay at home mom without having kids. Or maybe substitute the kids for some pets. A girl can dream, can’t she?

Dating Diaries

Crikey!

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I went on a date. With an Australian.

Here’s how it went down.

I matched with Gary on Tinder. {Side bar: when I saw that his name was Gary, all I could think about was that Ew Gary skit Jimmy Fallon does on the Tonight Show}. We started chatting + I learned he was in town from Australia for the week with work. I thought to myself, “YAAAS, here’s my opportunity to go out with an Aussie!”  From looking at his pictures he was totes attractive and I could tell he was probably a bit of a playboy. Did that stop me? No.  I basically confided in a couple of coworkers to let them know I was going on a date.  Half of them told me not to do it, the other half said go for it. I also phoned a friend for her opinion… she told me to go for it.  So I went for it.

I obviously made sure I was in control of where we were going to meet up at, etc. so I wouldn’t end up on Dateline.  We agreed to meet up at Lynnwood for drinks.  I arrived there first to which I promptly ordered a Moscow Mule so I could get a head start with some liquid courage.  I never meet up with anyone that soon, but since there was a time crunch I made an exception.

Gary arrived a little late.  Bless his heart, he had to Uber there.  Granted if I was in another country I sure as hell would not attempt to drive either.  So he comes in and I’m a little taken aback. Not by his dashing good looks, but the fact that he’s got a satchel aka a murse, or in laments terms, a man purse. All I could think of was the episode from Friends where Joey wears a murse.

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I then felt like an ass after I asked him why he had it.  Since he has diabetes he keeps his insulin in it. Like I said, I felt like an after that.  I thought it was maybe just a trend Australian men were trying out.  Nope.  He also had a small hoop earring.  At least it wasn’t a gauge in his ear.

So in true Jessica fashion, I quizzed him on stereotypical Australian things.  Here’s a sampling of the hard-hitting questions I asked.

It’s a good thing he had a sense of humor.  Out of those questions that I asked him, he reacted badly to Fosters.  He was not a fan of that beer.

By the time a few hours pass by, it’s time for me to go home.  He tries multiple times to come with me.  Hecky naw! Like I said, I’m not trying to end up on Dateline and I just met up with him for giggles because I knew I’d never see him again.  Plus, my momma didn’t raise me like that. Thanks, mom… I do listen to you! After several attempts, he finally gets the picture and instead walks me to my car.  I literally turn around to hug him and BAM he plants one on me.  So not only did I go out on a date with an Australian, but we basically made out in the parking lot.

When I told my co-worker this, she summed it up perfectly for me, “you made out with an Australian so you basically made our with Chris Hemsworth.”

I’ll accept that.

Travels

Jessica Jet Sets to Cali: Part III

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I swear, it’s going to take me a year to do the entire recap from my California trip… but I’m going to finish it!!

On day two we spent the better part of the morning continuing our “tour of San Francisco.”

First Stop: The Full House house.  Y’all, I can’t even tell you how excited I was about seeing this.  I grew up on Full House and have probably watched all the episodes multiple times (it ranks up there with Saved By The Bell, the original 90210 series, Law + Order: SVU + FRIENDS episodes that I could binge watch repeatedly). We totally nerded out on the way to see the house by listening to the Full House theme song.  I have no shame in admitting that.  Not to mention, Fuller House was about to be released on Netflix so it was perfect timing.

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Second Stop: Mrs. Doubtfire house.  While I was excited to see the Mrs. Doubtfire house, it didn’t compare to seeing the Full House house. #sorrynotsorry

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Third Stop: Lombard Street.  Thank god we did not attempt to drive the suburban on Lombard Street.  Just watching the people drive down it gave me anxiety.  To the people who live on Lombard Street: bless your hearts for putting up with all the tourists and having the patience to live on that street.

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Fourth Stop: The Golden Gate Bridge.  Is it always that windy by the bridge? I’m not going to lie, I didn’t get many good photos of myself there due to the wind. Major buzzkill.  I was hoping I’d get a good one for my Bumble profile.  Oh well! We probably spent 30 minutes getting a really good blowout with major tangles on a dreary day.

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While we made our way out of San Francisco we made a pit stop in Sausalito for lunch at Copita.  They had a drink on the menu called ‘Ziggy Stardust’ and wish I had ordered it in honor of my man, David Bowie. If I ever come across another Ziggy Stardust, you better believe I’m going to order it.  After lunch we loaded up the suburban to head to our house in Napa Valley, but we had one more pitstop to make- go to Lagunitas Brewery!

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The rest of the day was chill- we had to get settled in our house and rest up for our big WINERY tour.  Let’s hope my recap from the winery tour won’t be next month. I’m going to try to finish up my California recap before I go to Blowing Rock for a girl’s weekend.

 

Around Town

Birthday Shenanigans

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I celebrated the big “3-4” last month with a bang.  Several of my favorites joined me for dinner at Irregardless Cafe (one of my favorite restaurants) before we hit the town.  Any by “hit the town”, I mean I we went to a few local bars… this girl can’t hang like she used to.

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Some of my favorite gals helping me celebrate my birthday at Irregardless Cafe

Bar Stop #1: Landmark Tavern.  The highlight of the night was this stupid video I took.  To truly appreciate it, you had to have been there.  I still crack up when I watch it.  Then again it doesn’t take much to crack me up.

Bar Stop #2: Bittersweet.  I was recently introduced to this AMAZING establishment and I’m pretty much smitten with it.  Prosecco + dessert + some 80’s music? Yes, please! I split the key lime tequila parfait + s’mores sundae with my friends and it was THE BOMB DOT
COM.

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Key lime tequila parfait + s’mores sundae.

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Friends that can make funny faces together, stays together.

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Bar Stop #3: The Busy Bee.  I have a love/ hate relationship with The Hive.  I love it when they play amazing music that’s fun to dance to.  I hate it when it gets overcrowded and the music changes suddenly, such as some strange Jamaican tunes.  It’s like flipping a light switch… the music changes without warning. When that happened we said, “bye Felicia” and made our way out.

We “attempted” to go to Neptunes (a total whole in the wall bar) that I love for some odd reason.  Once we saw the line we all looked at each other + knew it was not going to happen for us.  It was then I decided it was time to go home.  I went to the bars I wanted to, minus Neptunes (buzzkill)… but it was a fun night with great friends.

Neptunes, I’ll be seeing you soon.

Travels

There’s Something Wrong With the Left Phalange

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I realized I never blogged about my travels from Charlotte to Jacksonville. It was VERY interesting. While waiting in the airport, my friend called to say she might not make her flight due to horrible traffic in West Palm.  Luckily before I boarded my plane she made it to the airport just in time.

So as I was sitting on the plane and we were leaving the gate, our pilot announces a mechanical issue so back to the gate we go! It is then announced that the repairs could take 15 to 45 minutes.  All I kept thinking was “there’s something wrong with the left phalange” from the very last episode of Friends when Phoebe tries to stall Rachel.

I’m not going to lie, when he announced mechanical issues I started to get jazz hands. Here I am on a sold out flight and I was about to spazz out.

30 minutes goes by and we have another announcement… we’re switching planes.

6 minutes later the pilot announces we’re staying on the plane… just kidding y’all, you can put your luggage back in the overhead bins and sit down!

Meanwhile I was trying to pass time by playing Words with Friends, texting friends, reading my new favorite book (Let’s Pretend This Never Happened) and taking pictures of miscellaneous things just to keep my jazz hands down to a minimum.

Finally at 11:15 we finally took off (over an hour later).  Turns out my friend’s flight was also delayed and we both got to Jacksonville about the same time!

I was soooo glad to finally get there so I could start my long weekend catching up with one of my best friends!

Travels

Ready to Jet Set

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I’m pretty pumped to be jetting down to sunny Florida this Friday to see my old roommate. It’s been long overdue. Not to mention this is the first time flying by myself. Yeah I know, what 31-year old hasn’t flown by themselves?! To be honest, I get jazz hands and major anxiety when flying, so I’m going to go ahead and apologize in advance to the person who has to sit next to me on the airplane.  Maybe I should start researching techniques to avoid anxiety attacks or find a horse tranquilizer…

Did I also mention that I’m 5ft tall and I’ll be the one struggling with my suitcase in the overhead bin?  I can already see it now… angry passengers wanting to know what’s taking so long to board the plane, meanwhile I’m trying to lift my suitcase and can barely get it over my head.  I may just pay for the baggage check since I can already feel the anxiety coming on of having to deal with a suitcase.

I just need to get out of town for a long weekend to clear my head and to have fun.  I already told my friend that all I want to do is drink wine, relax, do a little shopping, and maybe check out some of the flea markets in Florida. We also might go out on their boat if the weather is nice, let’s just hope I don’t lose my hat.  Last time I was on a boat my hat went bye-bye!

Right now I’m trying to figure out what kind of gift to bring them for letting me stay at their house/ a long overdue house warming present. I thought about bringing them some North Carolina swag since they used to live here.  I only have until Thursday to figure it out!

Stay tuned for these nail biting questions once I arrive in Florida…

  • Will I spazz out on the airplane or break out my jazz hands?
  • Do I knock myself out trying to lift my suitcase into the overhead bin?
  • Can I even reach the overhead bin?
  • Will I run like Phoebe or Rachel from Friends trying to make my connecting flight?

So many questions!!! Wish me luck on Friday!!

xoxo