Oh Christmas Tree Hell

RIP to my Christmas Tree: 11/29/15- 12/9/15.

Tis the season for all hell to break loose. My Christmas tree + I had a good run… for about 10 days.  I’m not going to lie… she was majestic.



I had a nice Wednesday evening tee’d up: I was watching the Scream Queens finale, addressing my Christmas cards + relaxing.  Boo Radley was passed out under the tree on my luxurious Nicole Miller faux-fur tree skirt. It happened all so sudden. The tree was standing and then it wasn’t. I totally admit I blamed it all on Boo Radley + even offered him up on Facebook for the taking. I confess: it was a rash accusation + I have already apologized to him.  For the record, the tree was already leaning… Boo was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.



I desperately tried to get the tree back up.  Jessica (5’tall) vs Christmas Tree (6’tall).  The tree won. It fell twice.  During the first fall, 2 ornaments broke… it’s ok they were your typical basic ornaments.During the second fall there were more casualties.

RIP to the following ornaments:

  • My beloved Patience Brewster Peace on Earth ornament.  There’s peace no more.
  • Bloomingdale’s fairy carrying her little brown bag. I got her on one of my annual NYC trips with my mom.
  • One of my squirrels.  I have several squirrel ornaments so this one wasn’t as sentimental as the others, but still it was a casualty.
  • A silver acorn.  This one wasn’t sentimental either.  I guess the squirrel + the acorn are together again.

After a good cry session I pulled myself together and stripped the tree of the ornaments + lights and took that sucker outside.





Fast-forward to today. I thought to myself, “Hey, when life hands you lemons, paint that shit gold!” I Googled how to make your own wreath… I was totes going to up cycle my tree.  I spent a solid hour clipping the branches off the tree, gathering them in bunches and adhering them to the wire frame.

The result? A Martha Stewart fail.  When all else fails, pop open the wine.


If anyone needs 3/4 of a Christmas Tree, let me know… I can hook you up.




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